THE PINCHEST MAN IN THE WORLD - Ancestors

"Dope intro music"

Welcome all the aztec, mexica, chichimeca, all prehispanic podcast listeners out there... All the tlaxcalteca and mixtecas, welcome to The Pinchest Man In The World, the first English transmission in front of this fabulous nobody.

Yes, no crowd. Nobody love us, we are founding civilization from scratch. 

Mexican time... mañana. manever, ahorita, mañever... Intoxicating with my lumping and rusted out English. But enough to try to reach some and seduce all to this truly cosmopolitan potcasting. No flags, yes fags, gender debate and serious comedy about our journalistic knowledge of the world and to try to laugh and have a glimpse of what is happening in the process.

Yes, I was not born Caribbean but I was made as a man there... Later I flew to Europe and here I am. This is one first attempt of trying to go fucking away from here. But nice food, beaches, plans and gigs are keeping me from traveling (but we are booking, hiring, looking for sponsors and listeners). So in some sort of weird manner this will be a journey.

Let's see how pinche goes... 

El juego de pelota, is said to be created by the Guatemala mayans, but no, I have to vouch for the Mexican Mayas, and we played well the game too, and we had the hottest drafted stars... The price... The same: The stars... As you should know that honor existed in those societies and the price was dying happily for your God and giving your blood for the blossom of your culture and all creatures.

Alcohol is always needed here, but this is not a Vodkast.. But a Beercast, well may be, as I'm going for one now. And yes, darlings, is 4:04 in the morning. Luckily I have my trained Mexican bilingual rough drafting raving monkeys throwing some poop to the fans, my very special way to connect with nature.

Dying for a God is the stupidest journey in the history of mankind. And, you know, is happening today, I mean right now. Somewhere, someone is plotting and brainwashing people filled with hatred and desires of revenge, as it is impossible to bare painless some situations. In the meanwhile, we, the ones communicating frankly and franetically, are giving RT and then living a total alienated life.

 Surrendering to our electronic commodities and feed with or chosen pop culture, forgetting we had ancestors, and that someone rape them a long time ago, and now we are raping others with our silence ann tacit vouch to a matter of things that are becoming unbearable. And so on, we are trapped in this vicious circle, a circle of blood, sweat, tears; a muddy ring. We need to set fire, have, a ring of fire, to play humble homage to the ancestors.

(probably I'll sing this or play this)

Comedian. I will have to become that to have some attention of self-absorbed dudes or a group of partying alcoholics or people with some money or spare time, people far away from the ones in the list of those I would like to call friends.

Espero que esta madre bilingue esté quedando medianamente chingona... Bueno...

So. Ok. It is time to start this first show. To start to spread the comedy, or trying someone to spread... Ok, no... I won't continue this path. As a person that is starting adventures all the time. A Caribbean lazy alcoholic drug-addict soul (this is a joke, remember I'm a renowned journalist, whore and artist, as my Mom wrote in Wikipedia on my demand).

I have stuff to do... This is why I'm starting to do the things I love the most (and I'm lazy enough to not do them, so cheer up) and have my life setted in this order of priorities. And God, that white bearded armed guy that hates fags, is seeming to agree with my new and personal conception of Gesamkunstwerk... Here, not even one person is following. God? Are you?

English, this beautiful, powerful, not that sexy, but tremendously humorous and proper when it comes to singing, reading, or meeting blondes in spring break back at Cancún... Time goes far to quickly before my eyes. I haven't had a spring break for eleven years now. Miss the Hawaian Tropic smelling topless bonding experiences. This time is far gone. New challenges ahead, probably with my libido drop, some old wisdom (from my young nerd years, when I was a rebellious nerd, but, oh, how empowering it is to be a nerd, in a subjective way, as living life with nerdiness is barely living).

Two years before this first broadcast I started to record some moments and to start a so-called impropodcast, and the laughs in the process of making it and reproducing it after, very invigorating.

Let's start the show... Breakfast is the most important meal of the morning. Is very important to start with the right liquor and the precise selection of dope. If minor, under age, dwarfs or midgets are listening to this. I beg to you come closer and ask your parents or legal tutors to listen to this:

THERE ARE LEADERS.
THERE ARE FOLLOWERS.
I RATHER BE A DICK
THAN A SWALLOWER

So, yes, have a beer, probably, as it has some cereals, is better to start the day. But don't leave music aside, some music that makes you go is basic in the morning. Then sing and make a clown of yourself in front of the mirror, the more time you have to make a fool in the mirror, the richer you are. Then light a sativa spliff, as it is more psychoactive and in this way you won't be back relentlessly to the couch. As In-the-couch, the very same name, comes from indica. In Da Couch.

I'm sitting. Probably is more funny if I stand up and start the show from here... Then, at least, it will turn to literally stand up comedy. Parents, if you are still listening, I haven't make a proper dick joke so far. So, stay tuned!

Should I try to make this potcast with a more funny Latin accent. Should I need a horrible voice or physical laughable defects to fit in the world of journalism, comedy, political radio shows...

If I'm going to pretend to hold to this line, I have to be crystal clear about things. This is why being assertive in other languages will improve my way of improvisation and thinking in other languages, also dear to me, as this one is. I have to say that I like healthy people, but life out there is not healthy, neither a writers brain. Is highly unhealthy to talk about things with a veil of morality, religion, political correction and other terrible euphemisms, interests and heavy words making a burden inside our own heart, soul and minds.

I've done all in life, everything but taking care of me, having safe sex or being blindly part of a group. Lately, I've realized that I can't escape from being tagged as a hipster. And I won't quit to have a beard, make photos, skate Barcelona with my longboard or playing music that I love. But, everytime posible, we should put off the things that we do and focus in the people around. Having said that, when we are aware of this, we shall drink more and continue our unsafe sex under the protective eye of our big brotherish welfare state that is paying for our venereal diseases or SDT's.

It's time to start my fucking show. And is going all over the world this time. Is wildly important, as it is my reputation and my dick that will be face-slapping reality.

Welcome to all the tarahumaras, wikarikas, all the peyote and ayahuascan abuelitos. All the friends of Xibalba and Mitnal. Hijos del averno. Welcome you all. This is a secret potcast, and secret knowledge will be brought to the table every now and then. We will have chamanes and interviews with voices, strange voices from far beyond, as this one:

VOICE OFF


Is my honor to share this big pozole of facts of our today's world. So you can have your nacho dipped hard on my spicy cheese, no Tex Mex fluffy crunchy tortilla will be alive here. We hate fast food, we need slow processed thoughts.

Let's start the show you hating Mexicans rednecks. This message is for you: chinguen a su madrecita nomás...

Let's try to introduce this episode: LIFE, FROM BARCELONA, A STRANDED MEXICAN, JOURNALIST, WHORE AND ARTIST. RISING HIS VOICE TO COMMUNICATE WITH A WIDER THAN EVER WORLD LISTENING. AS YOU ARE NOTICING NOW, WE ARE ALL RECRUITERS. RECRUIT ME. RECRUIT YOU. (It sounds quite offensive).

(I should continue the presentation...)

A MEXICAN THAT SPEAKS FLUENT CATALAN, STRUGGLES WITH THE FRENCH AND TRIES TO CONQUER THE NEW SWEDISH REALM. AN OVER EDUCATED JUNKIE THAT HAS MOSTLY THROWN HIS LIFE AWAY. AS WE ARE ALL doing in some wicked manner, as the higher religion we know now is to live inside our own conception of freedom. Inception as Nolan conceived, exists in our minds, and this is how we (comedians) do it. When the boundaries explode, then freedoms sees and seeks herself from afar and make uncomfortable questions...

Probably this whole Pinchest Man in The World is the answer of a bigger question. Who I probably be ending to be if I don't stand up and make this conscious effort of making some good experiences and laughing, using some figures and tricks I've been harvesting over the years, and to achieve so I should learn, first, how to start a show...

Man, it is really hard to be an asshole.

Someone with his grammar and syntax should be calling himself an asshole infront an audience. The smart thing, when I have to look back, I know that I have to start to correct, so the "ahorita" cloud invades my brain, the "mañever", it comes and it is always much more fun the raw aspect of the show and the warmth of prices and recognition, not this shitty, sad, all intringulis of preparation and production, práctica, paciencia, paciencia, paciencia, práctica, preparación, producción, prostituta, periodista, partista. These are the "p's".

But if this are the paragraphs that I'm able to construct without further efforts, imagine the possibilities if I were a working, organized, consolidated figure. I don't even have a Wikipedia page, my mother said "ahorita", "mañever". And this show hasn't started yet.

Let's di it by genuinely channeling some death people (as I'm watching Derren Brown show, writing this to inspire me to make a big spectacle out of nothing, mental tricks, showmanship, manipulation, hypnotic states known as guided reality by voice to the majority). Highly suggestable people we are, we have to embrace the idea that we all build with words something that can't be explained. Awareness of this comes with a great deal of fun. This being said, don't trust me and, above all, don't trust your tv. And don't judge me in silence.

"There is like thousands of shootings in the USA, like 7 in Scandinavia. Simply, gringos don't take that amount of bullshit."

When your eyes wide open you perceive that your brain has learned how to avoid dangers, pain, and to change this world is to assume dangers. Your brain even fights against blinking, we are hours in black if we make the sum of all our blinking. Paradox overcomes, we can't go against our brains, so we should make our brain being the one coming with us to the journey of changing (try to be fully aware of your blinking, it is unresting) our life first, locally, but with a global goal, if hipsters raise and spread all over my yard, or in your way, shoot them (with sarcasm) as if it was a zombie movie, no! Never jokes of shooting people in this potcast. Never. But hipsters probably are asubterfugee of shitty reality to manifest in this wide range of changes and revolutions going right now and this potcast is willing to cover up.

So with no further delay. Let's start the show.

Gracias...