Feliç Sant Trumpi

Noriega: "Despreciado y poco honorable Sr. Trump. Le extiendo esta invitación en forma de tweet para asistir a la diada de Sant Jordi en Cataluña"

E insisto. 

Noriega: "Sería un placer que nos acompañara en nuestro puesto especial para grandes personalidades que han sido ghostwritten". 

Y durante una noche no hubo respuesta. Aunque publicó lo siguiente. 

Trump: "Some people cast shadows, and other people choose to live in those shadows". 

Noriega: "Se trata de hablar de su libro Trump; The Art of the Comeback ¿O prefiere que venga su autora Kate Bonher?"

Trump: "I've read John Updike, I've read Ohran Pamuk, I've read Philip Roth. When Noriega enters their league, maybe I'll read one of his posts"

Noriega: "Did we mention that all expenses are included for you, national guard, CIA, russian friends, prisoner trophy wife, weird family. Golf courses, pussy grabbing festivities and lots of chocolate cakes too"

Trump: "I've been a best-selling author for close to 20 years. Whether you like it or not, facts are facts".

La interacción ha sido total. Qué fácil es ganarse la enemistad de un niño de once años. Pues Trumpo sigue:

"Highly respected Jon Queenan mentioned that I produced "a steady stream of classics" with "stylistic seamlessness" and the "voice" of my books remained constant  to the point of being an "astonishing achievement".

Y se despidió Donald de mi con una sentencia: "I have no doubt that Noriega's books will do badly -he just don't have what it takes. May someday he'll astonish us writing something of consequence".  

Lo anterior no sucedió en ninguna red social. Se inspira en libro 'Trump and I' de Mark Singer. Las citas de Trump son textuales. Y esta interacción catapultó el libro en el que publicaba sus trabajos sobre Trump. Por eso el autor, Mark Singer, escribía esta carta de agradecimiento: 

"Dear Donald,

Thank you so much for that wonderful letter to The New York Times Book Review. A number of friends have called or written to say that it's one of the funniest things they've read in a long time. Though I'm sure that you, as an author, are aware that it's considered bad form to pay the people who review one's books, I nevertheless enclose a check for 37.82, a small token of my enormous gratitude. You're special to me. Also I enclose a couple of Band-Aids. Because you seem unable to stop picking at his particular scab, these should come in handy.

Cheerfully, Mark"

Y para poner broche de oro la historia de San Trumpi.

Mark Singer: "Ten days later I receive an envelope embossed with the Trump Organization and return address. Inside is my letter. Trump has returned it, inscribed in big black all-caps: "MARK, YOU ARE A TOTAL LOSER! AND YOUR BOOK (AND WRITINGS) SUCKS! BEST WISHES, DONALD. P.S. AND I HEAR THAT IS SELLING BLADLY". 

Y, después le pasó algo aún más maravilloso. Le llega al autor una carta de Citibank. Mark la abre. Dentro está su estado bancario y cito a Singer "Is $37,82 lighter".

Trump había cobrado el cheque. 

Fin